Sunday, July 20, 2008

Stages of Loss

I'm a little reluctant to use this title, because people lose loved ones, jobs, freedom, and other big stuff. I lost my fitness. I just kind of fumbled it away, it was a result of my own (mis)doing. Nonetheless, I've been through the stages of loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and, now, acceptance.

Here's where I am: 10 days ago I ran a 5K race as hard as I could. It took 24:46. I'm in the worst physical shape of my adult life and, at 53, if I don't address it, a steady downhill seems plausible. I weigh 238 pounds. My back hurts, almost constantly. For the third year in a row, I've struggled with hamstring trouble.

But, given where I am physically, I just completed a decent workout week. I rowed 20K, in 5K increments. On Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday, I followed those rows with core strengthening and stretching exercises that helped my back feel better and helped my regain some psychic balance. I walk every day. I'm fat, but no longer getting fatter. On Wednesday, I ran, 800s on the track. On Saturday, I ran again, 5.5 miles. I ran again this morning, 3.5 miles.

I have a modest Beach to Beacon goal. I want to run faster than my age. It's a challenging but attainable goal. It'll take work, but I'm ready to work again. I've accepted my current status. I still hope for progress, though, and I'll report in along the way.

2 comments:

Stephen Lacey said...

Yah, Pete, I feel your pain. Though perhaps not in the same way, as I have not, at least so far, become fat. Fitness, yeah, I am sure it has ebbed away, but I can still swim and touch my toes and get about the neighborhood on my walking frame. I've only gone from my racing weight of 71-72 kg to a tad under 75 kg, so the situation isn't too bad. Glad to hear you sounding positive and determined, and I hope the niggles allow you to do the work you sound so ready to do. Man, there is much I'd like to talk to you about over pints. Not just fitness and health related. Take care.

Jeff said...

A week ago I was in the middle of my summer peak of activity, pushed a little too hard, and have spent the days since recovering from a seriously sore back. So I also have had to accept that I need to work on core strength and stretching. Ab work, stretches, and walking are the base my other activities have to rest on.
I heard the SeaDogs announcers describing David Ortiz the other day; Big Papi is the same size as you (and apparently the Red Sox aren't shy about harassing him to lose some weight).